Coming Out Aspergers

August 3, 2013 · by Robin

Today is the day.
Not sure why I decided on today after years. But, that’s what we do as Aspies. We procrastinate. For example, I have walked past the dishes in the sink for two weeks. I will fill the sink with water and soap and let them sit. I will rinse and dry all but a couple of forks and knives, which I leave laying in the sink. Things in my world are just always one step away from being completed. What is an Aspie? It’s a person living with a form of high-functioning Autism and it is less common in females than males. The majority of my family does not know I am an Aspie. I have told only one friend and only recently told my boyfriend. Life isn’t easy with an Aspie, but it sure can be a wonderful journey if you accept us for who we are. We will fill your life with childlike wonder. We will drive you crazy with our need to have things our way but that is how we need to live our lives, in a certain order. As a child I lined up my stuffed animals on my bed. My desk was a row of pencils and knick knacks and I knew if anybody had entered my room without permission. I still line up the faucet and items around the sink. My desk at my office is a line of pens, staplers and files. My employee laughs but understands and my clients have shown an appreciation for my order of things.
Meltdowns. I get overwhelmed. I have an incredible ability to hear and smell but in the same sense, sounds and smells can become extremely overwhelming. I have been told I should be a perfumer and the different seasons of the year actually SOUND different to me. I prefer Fall, because it is a clearer sound. I can hear further in the distance and hear trains better. Yes, I love trains and the rhythm of them. I love patterns in things. When stressed I have the steps of a tap dance I learned as a child that I repeat on my fingers. “And one and two and three and four and five and six and seven and eight.” Over and over I tap it out to relax.
I thought it was a weakness but it is who I am. Being an Aspie makes me a stronger person and I am a survivor and fighter. I have learned to adapt and function and perhaps I have just gotten to the age where I believe if you don’t like ME for WHO I Really Am, then I don’t need you to be a part of my life. People have put me down throughout my life and treated me as though I am unintelligent. I am not. I simply see things and process things differently. I may not understand a joke and Lord knows I do not understand word problems but I am gifted in just as many areas because I do see things differently.
I hope to post often and to encourage other women living with Aspergers.